When your husband refuses hakam arbitration
He will not attend, will not respond, and will not pronounce talaq, yet the marriage cannot continue.
Does hakam still work if my husband refuses to take part?
Yes. Two Hakam are appointed regardless of whether both spouses engage, one for each side.[1] A husband’s silence or refusal does not stop the Syariah Court from moving the case forward through arbitration.
This matters most for a wife whose husband will not attend sessions, will not answer calls, or flatly refuses to pronounce talaq even though the marriage is clearly over.
What does refusal actually look like in these cases?
It can take several forms: ignoring notices, skipping appointments with the arbitrators, agreeing to nothing during reconciliation attempts, or simply saying he will never grant a talaq.
Whatever the form, the underlying issue is the same. The marriage has become constant, unresolved conflict, syiqaq, and one side will not cooperate toward a resolution.[1]
How does the Hakam appointed for him still do their job?
The Hakam representing the husband still has a role even without his active participation. They can draw on his past conduct, communication with family members, and any earlier record from a Sulh session, to form a view for the court.
This is not the same as ignoring his side entirely. The arbitrator tries genuinely to reach him first, and only works around his silence when it is clear he will not respond.
Can the Hakam end the marriage without his agreement?
Where reconciliation has failed and the Syariah Court authorises it, a Hakam may pronounce talaq on the husband’s behalf.[1] This is the mechanism that allows a case to move forward even when a husband refuses outright.
The court does not authorise this lightly. It expects a genuine record showing that reconciliation was attempted and that the husband was given a fair chance to take part.
What should you do if he is simply avoiding the process?
Keep a simple record of your own attempts to reach him and of his non-response, such as unanswered calls, unread messages, or missed appointments. This record supports the arbitrators’ report to the court.
Tell your Peguam Syarie as soon as a pattern of avoidance is clear, rather than waiting for months of silence. Raising it early lets the case move to hakam sooner.
How is this different from a husband who has disappeared entirely?
A husband whose whereabouts are genuinely unknown fits the fasakh ground for absence rather than hakam. Fasakh is applied for on that specific ground and does not need two arbitrators.
Hakam fits a husband you can still reach, who is present but unwilling, where the conflict itself, not his location, is the core problem.
What happens once the case moves forward?
If the Syariah Court authorises the talaq or otherwise decides the matter, the marriage ends and you observe the iddah period. You can raise maintenance, mut’ah, and hadhanah claims for your children alongside or after the hakam case.
If you feel unsafe dealing with your husband directly at any point, call Talian Kasih at 15999 before continuing. Tell us your state, and we will help you understand the next step where he is not cooperating.
Common questions
My husband ignores every letter about the case. Can hakam still work?
Yes. A Hakam is still appointed to represent him even if he does not respond. The arbitrator works with what can be gathered from family, past conduct, and the wife's account where the husband will not engage.
He says he will never say talaq. Does that block the case?
No. Where reconciliation is not possible and the court authorises it, a Hakam may pronounce talaq on the husband's behalf. His personal refusal to say the word does not by itself stop the marriage from ending.
Should I keep trying to contact him myself before going to hakam?
A reasonable, documented attempt is useful, but you do not need to keep trying indefinitely. Once it is clear he will not cooperate, tell your Peguam Syarie so the case can move to arbitration.
Is this different from applying for fasakh on the ground that he cannot be traced?
Yes. That ground fits a husband who has genuinely disappeared. Hakam fits a husband you can still reach but who refuses to engage or settle, which is a different pattern the court treats as syiqaq.
If your husband refuses to engage and your marriage cannot continue like this, tell us your situation and we will help you see how hakam applies to it.
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