When a father cannot see his child

Why am I not allowed to see my own child?

As a father who does not hold hadhanah, you are generally still entitled to visit your child at reasonable times.^[1] Ongoing blocking does not erase this right, even though it may feel that way right now.

Many fathers in this situation feel powerless, especially when every attempt is met with a new excuse. Know that this is a common pattern, and there is a formal route you can take.

What does this blocking actually look like?

It can start small, plans changed at the last minute, calls left unanswered, or repeated claims the child is sick with no evidence. Over time, the pattern becomes clear even though each incident looks minor on its own.

If this describes your situation, do not treat it as your own failure to “try hard enough.” A repeated pattern of blocking is something the court takes seriously, not something you simply have to accept.

What should I do first?

Start by trying to communicate directly, where it is safe to do so, and keep a simple record of each attempt and what happened. This includes dates, messages, and any reasons given.

If there is no formal access order yet, this is a good time to apply for one. A formal order gives you a clear arrangement that is easier to enforce than a verbal understanding.

What if I already have an access order but I am still being blocked?

If an access order already exists but your former wife keeps blocking it, you can bring this pattern back to the court for enforcement. See our guide on what to do when access is blocked for the next steps.

The court can act more easily when you can show a clear pattern, more than a single isolated incident.

What if I have never had a formal access order?

If your arrangement has only ever been verbal, applying for a child access order is the most practical first step. This gives you a formal footing to act on if blocking continues.

While that process runs, keep your records and avoid confrontation that could affect your case in court later.

Common questions

Do I still have the right to see my child without a formal order?

Yes, the right to access exists generally, but it is harder to enforce without a formal order. Applying for an access order gives you a stronger footing.

My former wife says the child does not want to see me. What do I do?

This is a sensitive situation. Discuss with your Peguam Syarie how to approach it properly, since the court still assesses the child's welfare as a whole, not only one side's statement.

How often should I try contacting my former wife before going through the court?

Reasonable, recorded attempts are useful, but you do not need to keep trying indefinitely. Once a pattern of blocking is clear, bring it to your Peguam Syarie.

Can I ask for the access arrangement to change if my work schedule changes?

Yes. The arrangement can be reviewed if circumstances change meaningfully. Raise this early so it does not affect your relationship with your child.